This might sound unreal but unfortunately, it’s true. This Valentine’s day you can name a cockroach after your ex according to Hemsley Conservation centre. If naming a roach after someone who hurt your heart seems cathartic, there are two ways you can go about it.
If you’re okay with your ex-roach living across the pond, you can name a British cockroach at Hemsley Conservation Center for ￡1.50 (about two bucks), and whatever name you choose will appear on the “roach board” at the cockroach enclosure. You will also get a certificate which (confusingly) will not have the name of the roach written on it, but it will grant you entry to the conservatory to see your ex-bugsband, should you ever be in the area.
If you’d like to keep things state-side, you can name a fancy Madagascar hissing cockroach at the Bronx Zoo for $15, which seems steep, but at least this (digital) certificate will feature the name you choose. Oddly, the Bronx Zoo suggests naming a roach after someone you are deeply in love with, which is a bold move. (As someone whose mother once purchased a few of these for us to keep as “science pets,” I feel pretty confident when I say that hissing cockroaches do not inspire warm feelings.) The Bronx Zoo also offers add-ons, like roach-themed beanies, enamel pins, and mugs, should you wish to really lean into the theme.
Here is the official website.
